October 1, 2013

  • Advice For Guys In Turbulence

    A Ship In Stormy Seas

    Advice For Guys In Turbulence:
    We’ve all been there. that relationship has gotten dicey. She’s got that irritated, all business face going on and she’s making crazy talk like you’re not going to be together anymore. You just want you’re life back. You still love her no matter what but what can you do, caught in a devastating storm as you’re relation-ship is about to crash and break apart on the rocky shoals ahead, leaving you to drown in the freezing cold and darkness?
    First of all, calm down. Grab a life preserver. * And don’t let go of it. But it’s not Her.
    She’s riding the same ship you are, dude. Find something else to keep you afloat in the event the ship does hit the rocks and break apart. But fear not. You can swim, brother. But hopefully it won’t come to that. Follow these life saving tips and you may yet sail around this sharp reef and continue your voyage together on the love boat. May you find paradise. Aloha!

    #1). Stay calm and keep your dignity. Your going to need it. It’s amazing what a regal bearing does for you in the midst of adversity. Women can’t help but be attracted to it, and likely it’s whatever she saw in you in the first place.

    #2). Try harder and then do it. I’m not talking anything crazy like 100% more effort, 300x, etc…I mean realistically, try about 25-30% harder every day, be it whatever it was you were having the disagreement on the fist place. She wants stuff done, you know what it is. Make a concerted effort to try harder, and if you really do it, you’ll see results.

    #3). NO DRAMA. I can’t stress this enough, especially if this is what or how they are expecting you to respond to a break up. You’re a man and you keep calm in actual emergencies. Women and children would depend on you to stay calm in a fire or terror event and save them. Well my friend, you must save yourself this time if you are to have any hope of saving your relation-ship. And to do that, you must be and stay calm. Women hate drama. They hate threats, be they hypothetical, actual, passive, or especially, aggressive. They hate all that dumb teenage boy shit of ” I’m gonna self destruct to teach you a lesson for not loving me” whole scenario…so played out, been there done that so many times, it’s ugly and excessive and counter productive to Love…just don’t.

    #4) Keep your words and actions simple, fair, and without blame. Do not bring up old wounds or accusations. Stay focused on your plan for what to do afterwards in case this ship does run aground…this is the life preserver I mentioned earlier. By being ready and taking care of yourself, you’ll be in a much better position as far as seeing when to steer clear of the jagged reefs ahead, and will inspire much more confidence in Her not jumping into the life rafts and abandoning ship.

    pt 1. of Advice For Guys In Turbulence by Aaron McNees
    ….pt 2 coming after these messages.

July 14, 2013

June 1, 2013

  • The Death of Xanga and The Decline of Western Civilization

    “We’re now at a crossroads, as our lease is up soon on the networking facility where we’ve been hosting our servers,” Xanga CEO John Hiler writes in a blog post. “As the status quo is no longer possible, we’ve been working to figure out the best way for the Xanga community to move forward.”

    Say it ain’t so! I personally blame John Hiller for doing such a lackluster job as CEO…example? Not listening to his base, no interest in selling merchandise or trying to make a meaningful deal with fb or twitter…basically he just sat on his ass and hoped for all the bloggers would somehow carry the website. just like he’s doing now, begging for us to kick in $60k when all he needed to do was some aggressive marketing and advertising. I’m gonna grab my poems and keep reaching for the stars. #Xanga, it was so good while it lasted.

February 19, 2013

  • Petitioning AMC Theaters: Subtitles or captioning for the hearing impaired.

    AMC Theatres: Subtitles or captioning for the hearing impaired.

    Along with 28 million of other Americans, I have hearing loss and have to use captioning to understand the dialogue and speech on television. I am not completely deaf but have a hard time watching movies or tv shows that don’t offer captioning services. I would love to enjoy watching a new movie like many people take for granted, but without the captions I just can’t keep up with what’s going on and usually have to watch the movie again when it’s released on dvd to understand what went on in the movie. Movie theaters already make accommodations for disabled individuals in wheel-chairs, I am simply asking they have a showing available for their movies that would have captions or English subtitles at the bottom of the screen. The technology is already there as almost all new films come ready to be subtitled in whatever language the country speaks where the film is being shown.
    Please AMC Theaters, start having shows with captions available for patrons with hearing loss that affects 28 million Americans. Thank you very much.
    http://www.change.org/petitions/amc-theatres-subtitles-or-captioning-for-the-hearing-impaired

January 23, 2013

  • I’m going to tell you a secret:
    Assuming a life-span of about 80 years
    And multiplying by 365 days without fatal accident,
    you have about 29200 total days of your life.
    That’s right, suckers.
    But wait, here comes the fun part-
    now you have to subtract the number of days you have lived *so far* from that number-
    your age X 365 = __.
    Now, here comes the fun … In my case of 43 years, my number of days lived has been 15695.
    So…29200 – 15695= 13,505 days left to me.
    13,505 days left to live my life.
    Strangely enough, I find this somewhat comforting;
    I plan on doing things that will last with them, at least trying to.
    Planting seeds is good.
    The formula is something like 80*365=29200-X (your age x 365)
    Use wisely. Have fun. Thank you for playing.

January 2, 2013

  • Alice in Hookahland

    zzzzzzzzHello.Please carefully choose from the transmogrified images below.Thank you for playing.

    1)

    2)

    3)

    4)

    bonus!
    original images before transmogrification

    “The Caterpillar” ~ John Tenniel 1865


    Extra Bonus!
    Name the original artist in the hazy background that I swerved,
    and I’ll send you a freeT-shirt of the winning transmog  !!!
     
    Thank you for playing!

December 20, 2012

  • “soul bound items”

    all those items
    of past instances
    that you once treasured
    and bound tightly to your soul
    Have slowly fallen away,
    one by one forgotten
    golden talismans
    that burned brightly
    you held fast
    against the darkness rising
    up in loneliness and despair
    your armor buckled
    and sword kept true
    to slay the beasts
    that waited for you,
    in the night
    patiently, to come home
    but you strayed too far
    and stayed too gone
    your treasures downgraded
    to souvenirs and post cards
    of past sunlit instances you lost in transit
    on the downward spiral to your final destination
    all those soul-bound items you left behind
    have faded from neglect
    and tarnished with rust
    once radiant glories now dying candles
    burning faintly in dim memorium
    of all those past instances.

November 8, 2012

  • “as human beings, we have only a limited capacity to appreciate beauty, but instead have an almost seemingly  infinite capacity to focus on the negative. this is what we must change if we hope to evolve as individuals as well as a species.” 
    ~aaronmcnees
  • “of birds and bushes”

    it is not over.

    the whales have not sung
    their final melancholy lamentations
    of ambergris and crude oil.

    the tiger still burns brightly,
    eyes shining outside the firelight
    in the darkest forest night

    the wolf’s lonely call has not yet faded,
    the music of cold skies and frozen fields
    searching for refrain.

    it is not over.

  • More Funsies From Her and Him

     
       Her 
     
            I want you
       
     Him

            well. we both know how that works. come home now, the boys are gone so we can make some noise.
       
        Her

            So hungry.
      
     Him
     
            i’m having post partum today.

        Her
     
            It will go away when you get pregnant again.

    Him
     
            come inoculate me.
     
        Her

            I’ll be there in a couple of hours.

            what are you wearing?
     
    Him

            i have nothing on but a pair of spiderman underwear, turned around backwards.
      
        Her

            oohhh. Sexy. Is your spidey sense tingling because I’m thinking of you.

    Him

            it’s either that or my rash, can’t be sure which.

            wanna help me check?
      
        Her

            I will have to. I must make sure you are healthy

            We will start at the armpits

     Him

            oooh, you can take my temperature.

            but i like sugar on the thermometer.

            make that maple syrup instead.

        Her

            Will do but you’ll have to remove our shorts.

    Him

            no, i got them turned around backwards already, see?

        Her

            I will need you to lay down on the bed so that I can do a full examination.’
      
    Him

            that’s what the little flap is for

        Her

            Nope. They will have to come off.

    Him

            (sighs) ok.

            but then i definitely want maple syrup.

       Her

            Thank you.

            Please wait in the bedroom and the doctor will see you in just a few hours. Please do not put your clothing back on.

    Him

            somehow i am strangely aroused by this.

        Her

            Trust me,I’m a doctor

     Him

            (sighs) ok.

        Her

            Arousal is your bodies normal response to stimuli. Sounds as thought you may be healthy but we can’t be sure until I test your reflexes

    Him

            i don’t think it’s normal to be aroused by having thoughts maple syrup thermometers put up yer butt…but here i am.

            by you of course, dear. in a nurses outfit.

            or maybe a doctor coat with that pervy mirror on your head…

        Her

            Maple syrup is a natural antiseptic.

     
    Him

            lol.

            it’s quite yummy, too. and prevents tooth decay.

        Her

            No. I take a more natural approach. I feel patients are more comfortable being nude if the doctor is also nude. Bedside manner is so very important
      
     Him

           (sighs)  ok.